


after all that’s been said and done (you’re just the part of me i can’t let go)

by lovelilkitty



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: F/M, Fluff, but not really, little angst maybe?, mostly just me ignoring what maggie said abt blue and gansey kissing again for my own pleasure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-27 03:47:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17759207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelilkitty/pseuds/lovelilkitty
Summary: Blue Sargent is very pointedly not hanging out with the Raven Boys. Specifically, Richard Campell Gansey III. She wonders if trying to avoid him is more trouble than it’s worth- the hurt look in his eyes whenever she sees him is enough to announce that he certainly thinks so- but it might just be all for the better. After all, a heartbroken Gansey on the other side of town is still better than a dead Gansey on the ground beside her. A Gansey that she killed, without any effort beyond a press of her lips against his.But when he’s sitting inhersection at Nino’s, giving her that wide-eyed, pleading look, she can’t help but wonder. She could at least talk to him, couldn’t she? She knows he deserves at least that.





	after all that’s been said and done (you’re just the part of me i can’t let go)

**Author's Note:**

> title & chapter title are both from hard to say i’m sorry by chicago

The first time Blue is alone with Gansey after he dies is almost two weeks later. She knows it’s wrong, but for that first stretch of time, she can’t help but avoid him. She busies herself with excuses of college applications and work and “family stuff” and everything else that she knows she could set aside for a minute if she would only allow herself to. But that painfully complicated little tug in her heart whenever she meets his eyes, the dreams of him dead on the ground that plague her sleep- she can’t look at him without remembering what happened to him. What she had done to him. So she threw herself into everything that didn’t have to do with Richard Campbell Gansey III. The boy she killed. That meant no Raven Boys. Not even Noah, because Noah would turn into Adam, and Adam would turn into Ronan, and all of them would ask about Gansey. He’d driven by her school a couple times, watching her with a sorrowful gaze that she could only hold for a second, at best, before ducking her head and running to catch the bus. At some point he seems to catch the hint, and she thinks they can do this. It won’t be easy, and it already hurts like hell, but they can avoid each other. She won’t let herself hurt him anymore. Her mind is made.

Or, it was. Until Gansey walks into Nino’s, eyebags noticeable under his eyes even though she’s totally not looking. Except she _is_ , and suddenly he’s looking back, his glasses sitting askew on his freckled nose. She squeaks, and topples over comically, just barely catching herself before her head hits the tiled floor. She pokes her head over the counter, face bright red as she catches his eye, frowning. He doesn’t break eye contact with her as he chats with the waitress, a new girl, who’s tall and pretty and has a name that Blue can never remember. She makes to show him to a table in her section, but he shoots her a charming smile, breaking eye contact with Blue to point to an empty table in her section, eyes pleading. The waitress looks disappointed, but she concedes, leading him over to the table. Blue winces, squaring her shoulders as she turns away, grabbing the pitcher of water and a glass as she pastes on a fake smile and walks to his table. It takes all the courage she’s capable of mustering not to crumble when his eyes meet hers, but Blue Sargent is stronger than that. Blue Sargent will _not_ let herself fall apart over a boy. Especially not a rich, entitled, _Raven_ Boy. She’s traveled down that path one too many times, so she keeps her smile wide, and wills herself to keep her voice strong when she talks to him.

“What would you like to drink, sir?” The formal term makes her want to cry, but it has to be said. Someone has to establish boundaries, or else it could all go wrong again. She can’t let Cabeswater’s- Adam’s?- sacrifice be for nothing, can’t let Gansey get himself hurt again. Can’t let herself hurt him again.

“Jane,” he starts, his tone pleading and heartbroken, but she shakes her head, cutting him off.

“Can I take your drink order, _sir_?” She places extra emphasis on the term this time, silently congratulating herself for not bursting into tears. Gansey’s not doing as well as her, his thumb swiping at his lip as he glares at the table, jaw clenched.

“Water it is,” she mutters, and then, because her heart can’t stand seeing him like this, “Gansey.”

His head shoots up, and he smiles at her, small and wistful. She sighs. She should’ve known she couldn’t avoid him for long. “We can talk after my shift, okay?”

________________

They talk. They talk for nearly an hour, and by the time Gansey’s phone starts buzzing, his arm is around her shoulder and she’s tucked against his chest, and maybe they’ve both cried a little by now.

“Maura?” Her head shoots up, eyes wide. “Yeah, she’s okay. Mmhm. Yes- No, no, I swear. Yeah, I’ll get her home safe. Uh-huh. I’ll do that. Bye-bye.” He looks at her, and grins. “She wants to know if we’re making out.”

Blue laughs, resting her head on his shoulder. “You wish.”

He pulls her closer to him. “I do,” he murmurs into her hair, his voice no more than a whisper. But she hears him. 

She freezes, slowly tilting her head to look at him. “Gansey-”

“I know.” He sighs, shoulders slumping slightly despite his obvious unsurprise.  
She frowns, pulling away to look at him better, a hand coming up to cradle his face. “It’s just- Gansey we just don’t _know_. The curse wasn’t specific, I don’t want to-”

“I _know_.” He says, and his voice cracks on the last word as he reaches to cradle her face in his hands. “You don’t have to apologize, Jane. Not for this.”

They sit like that for a couple minutes, eyes close, faces tilted towards each other, lips not quite meeting, before they remember Maura, and start to slowly make their way to the Pig, hands entwined, both silently reveling at even this being okay, being _allowed_.

**Author's Note:**

> come whine w me about these precious kids on tumblr @ronqnlynch or on twitter @jqsperfahey


End file.
